A Farmer's Christmas Read online

  Raven’s head spun a little. This way of life was so different from what she was used to. She’d never owned her own place, not even a small unit. Here, Ben’s family owned acres of land. But then to have to buy his sister out, that would be such a financial burden. There was no inheritance coming to her from her parents. They owned their house, but that was it. It wasn’t likely to be something she inherited as she figured they would downsize in the future into an apartment and spend the remaining money traveling around the world.

  No wonder there were times he’d looked a little stressed, she thought. Plus, this time of year with the Christmas celebrations must be hard since his father passed a year ago.

  “It’s just the way it goes,” he added. He glanced back at her. “Are you going along all right?”

  Raven nodded. She wasn’t about to tell him that she was feeling a bit nauseous for sitting in this confined space along with the movement, or that her mind was overwhelmed with processing how life was as a farmer.

  Could I adjust? She hated how the questions came to mind, pushing the uncertainty to the surface for consideration.

  Ben steered the harvester around to the left, keeping the combine full of the crop so as not to miss any and marking the completion of one round of the paddock. Raven slipped a bit on the arm of the chair but managed not to hit Ben.

  The paddock was a huge rectangular shape, and they were now going along the longer length. She couldn’t believe how long it took to do one round. They were, after all, going very slowly, so she felt every bump they drove over. Bouncing around with the movement was surprisingly tiring. At least Ben had a somewhat comfortable chair with suspension.

  “What about you have a go?”

  “What? Now?” She looked at him, wide-eyed. “You’d really trust me to drive this combine, which is worth… how much money?”

  There was no way he could trust her this much.

  “Sure. I mean you’re not going to try and do any damage, are you?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “Then I’ll finish to the end to this section where it’s easier to stop, and we can swap positions.”

  Raven inhaled slowly. This was a huge responsibility. Despite the trepidation of driving something so big and expensive while harvesting the very valuable crop, excitement began to surge through her.

  Just wait until I tell my parents this. Raven also figured it would be a good test for her to see if she would be able to adapt to farming life or not. Even though she was pretty sure if there were a long-term future with Ben, it wasn’t likely she was going to be on the combine like this. She wanted to try new things, and more importantly, she wanted to understand what it was like for Ben when he was working alone on the farm.

  “Ready?”

  “Yes.” She grinned, now eager to get into the driver’s seat.

  Ben slowed the machine down so they could swap positions. “Just wait until I stop.”

  Raven glanced outside. Something along the horizon caught her attention. A knot formed in her belly.

  “Is that smoke?” she asked, a chill moving through her body.

  “Probably just dust from someone driving too fast along the road.”

  Raven squinted her eyes. “But it’s not on a tree line.”

  Ben looked up. “Fuck.”

  He automatically slowed down. “That’s old Brumbies’ place, I think, but hard to tell from here.”

  Ben took out his cell. “Jason, there’s smoke from Brumbies. Yeah, yeah, I can help with the CFS unit. I’m in the paddock now, the one out to the side of the house. Yeah, that one. I’ve got the ute with me. Sure, I’ll meet you there.”

  Raven had so many questions to ask, but she kept quiet. Ben was cool and calm, but she could tell he was worried. Lines creased his forehead as he turned the harvester out of the crop, then pushing it to full speed.

  “I’ll park the harvester by the ute, and I’ll have to drive it down to the fire. It’s got the water unit on the back, which I’ll need until the bigger CFS units arrive.” Ben had explained to her at the start of the harvest that the water unit he’d put on the back of the ute was important in case there was a fire.

  “Will you be all right to walk back to the house?” asked Ben.

  “I can come with you? I can help?”

  “No, you’re not trained.”

  She bit back the words ‘and you are.’ “I can help you.”

  “You can by going back to the house and staying safe. Fires are unpredictable around here, and there’s so much dry material to catch alight. I’m part of the country fire station, CFS, and Jason and the other boys will need my help. With any luck, the fire will be out quickly.”

  Ben stopped the harvester by the truck and ute. He turned to her, his eyes full of worry. He put his hand on her arm. “You know the way back to the farm?”

  Raven nodded her head. “Yes.”

  He stood up and opened the door for her to get out. Raven paused, not wanting to leave him or to walk back to the farm by herself. This was an emergency. Ben was stepping up, and she would too.

  “There’s a fire,” Raven yelled as she rushed into the farmhouse, the screen door slammed behind her.

  “Over at Brumbies.” She puffed hard. It had taken her a good twenty minutes to run back to the farm. She’d kept to the road, scared of stepping on a snake or getting lost if she had taken a shortcut through the paddocks.

  She hurried into the kitchen, which was always the first place to look for Janette.

  “I know.”

  Raven stopped short in the doorway, bent over a little, hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. “Oh.”

  Janette stood by the kitchen table, arm wrapped around a big bowl, stirring a mixture with a wooden spoon. She wore a summer dress—plain light blue, short sleeves, and A-line skirt that went below her knees—covered with a blue apron, dusted with flour, her gray hair tied back in a long plait that went down her back with wisps of hair coming out. Her expression was cold, her jaw set as she concentrated on whatever she was mixing.

  “It’s over at Brumbies,” continued Janette. She set the bowl on the table, changed her grip, then poured the mixture into a rectangular baking tin.

  “Should we go there? Ben might need help?” Raven went over to the fridge and got out the container of cold water. She poured herself a glass and drank almost half, which helped to cool her down.

  “They know what they’re doing. It’s best if we stay out of it,” said Janette, her tone matter-of-fact.

  “There’s nothing we can do, then?” Raven didn’t believe it. “There must be some way we can help.

  Janette looked up at her. For the first time, Raven saw the worry that Janette was hiding. “Bake. Those fighting the fire will need food.”

  Raven rolled her lips, holding back the words that she couldn’t bake. There were bigger worries playing in her mind. She returned the container of water to the fridge.

  “Will they be fighting the fire for long?” asked Raven. Not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

  “I hope not.” Janette opened the oven door and slid in the baking tin. A burst of heat entered the room, adding to the heat.

  “Ben thought maybe it would be under control quickly.” Raven wondered if that was perhaps more wishful thinking on his behalf. “Maybe that means a few hours?”

  Janette shook her head. “Who knows.” She took a labored breath, one heavy with anxiety.

  “I’m sure it will.” Raven felt a tightness in her belly. “We don’t have to get them food just yet. Let’s wait a little while for more news.”

  “I just have a bad feeling about this.” Janette’s voice sounded distant.

  “I’m sure it will be fine.” Raven tried to think of a distraction, despite feeling lost at what to do.

  I have to help. I want to help, she corrected herself.

  Janette’s expression was one of burden.

  Raven had an idea. “How about I help you cook. You kn
ow I’m really not much of a baker, and I reckon it would be a good idea for me to learn.”

  Janette looked at her, surprised. “You were going to cook dinner tomorrow. Should I be worried to have agreed to that?”

  Raven smiled, glad her comment was proving to be the distraction she’d hoped it would be. “Course not, as long as you’re happy not to have dessert on a Sunday night.”

  “That would be breaking a very long tradition, and we can’t have that.”

  Raven saw the worry ease a little on Janette’s face. “What do you suggest I cook then?”

  “Hmmm, let’s try an apple crumble. There are a few apples in the fridge I need to use.”

  “Yum, let’s get started.”

  “Do you think they’ll be home soon?” Raven looked at the clock on the wall for the hundredth time. It was two in the afternoon. The apples were stewed and now cooling, and the crumble made ready to go on top. It had been a lot easier than Raven thought, and she had to admit that Janette was a patient teacher.

  Janette shrugged her shoulders. “I have a bad feeling.”

  “I’ll go look outside.” Raven got up from peeling the potatoes for the shepherd’s pie they were now making for tomorrow night’s meal. A much better option than the curries she’d contemplated making.

  “It won’t help,” said Janette.

  “I know, but I feel so helpless.”

  The kitchen was hot with the oven on for so long. Raven had dragged an extra floor-standing fan from the lounge into the room to try and help at least keep the air flowing. She reminded herself that those fighting the fire would be hotter than she was right now.

  Cooking was providing a good distraction, but the worry was always there every time she saw Janette’s facial expression. At this rate, they were going to have the meals cooked and ready for Christmas.

  “Get some fresh air, then.”

  Raven stepped outside. Straightaway, she could smell the smoke. A haunting foreboding shivered through her. She walked out from the shade of the veranda, and the heat felt like it was physically pressing down on her. The wind whipped up around her as if playing with the dust. It was an awful day and a bad day for fires. That’s what Janette had said. It hadn’t started like this, and she’d never noticed how quickly the weather could turn. It never really mattered to her when living in the city. There were the sounds of the emergency services, but that was as far as her concern went. Here, she didn’t know old Brumbie, but Janette and Ben did, and if his place were on fire, they were worried.

  She scanned the horizon. To her left was a sinister billowing cloud of smoke, smearing across the sky. It felt close. Too close. Janette had assured her that there were miles between here and Brumbie’s place, and the wind was coming from the north, blowing the fire away from them. The smell of life burning in the air and seeing the clouds of smoke haunting the sky, she felt the fire was too close for comfort.

  She sighed, knowing that coming out hadn’t helped, and Janette had been right. Looking out to the horizon in the direction of the fire had only stirred her anxiety, giving it more fuel. She longed to call Ben on his cell and make sure that he was all right. But, of course, Raven didn’t. He needed to concentrate, and she didn’t want to distract him. His life could well depend on it.

  It was even too early for the eggs to be collected and hay given to the alpacas. With nothing else to do, she went back inside. Rex scampered inside between her legs.

  “Damn cat,” called Janette from the kitchen.

  “I’ll get him out,” said Raven.

  “No, don’t worry, he can have some time inside. If we need to evacuate, at least we’ll know where he is.”

  “Evacuate?” Her mouth dried. Would they really have to?

  “I’m sure it won’t come to that.” Janette took a deep breath. “Cup of tea?”

  “Please.” Raven sat down at the table, playing with her cell, wishing she could call Ben to be sure he was okay.

  “Don’t worry, bad news travels fast,” said Janette as she set a cup of tea in front of Raven.

  “Is it always like this?” Raven’s mind whirled through a sea of emotions flooding through her.

  “Like what?”

  “Waiting like this.”

  “You’re always waiting on the ones you love when you’re a farmer’s wife.”

  Raven nodded. It was what she was beginning to think would happen.

  No wonder she cooks a lot.

  There wasn’t much else to do. The internet wasn’t working well, but that was good because she could see herself constantly looking for updates about the fire to see if anything had gone wrong.

  Raven shook her head. She was starting to feel sick having to wait like this. Was this her future waiting at this kitchen table for Ben?

  Can I do this?

  Raven lay awake in bed. Moonlight filtered in the room through the small window to the left, helping her to see a little. She looked up at the ceiling making out the movement of the fan going around. It moved the warm air making the heat tolerable. She kicked at the cotton sheet covering her, pushing it down in a tangled mess to the end of the bed. She wore a singlet and panties, and for the first time was beginning to wish there was an air conditioner to turn on.

  She flung a hand out to her right and was about to say sorry when she remembered Ben wasn’t back yet. He was still out fighting the fire. Or as Janette hoped was the case, he might simply be staying out watching the area in case it flared up again.

  Raven tilted her head back to look at the bedside clock. It was past midnight. She moved her arm back and forth, wishing that Ben was there. Out of habit, she picked up her phone lying near her. There was still no message or call from him. How she wished there was. Just a quick text to say he was all right. Even if he were fighting a fire, surely, he would have time to do that?

  She rolled over, settling in the middle of the bed. When he came home, she wanted him to wake her.

  Raven had reluctantly gone to bed. Janette left a plate of food in the fridge for Ben with a note on the table. Raven had stayed up a little longer, but she couldn’t stand watching any more of the late-night television or even another DVD. She didn’t want to sleep either. The waiting for more news was silently eating away at her.

  Her mind swung between thoughts of hoping Ben was okay and wondering if she could tolerate this waiting and the loneliness of living on a farm. The heat lulled her into a restless sleep.

  A slight movement of the bed woke her.

  “Just me,” whispered Ben.

  Ben wrapped his body against her. He smelled of smoke mixed with fresh soap, and his hair was a little damp.

  “I missed you.” Raven turned to look at him. He kissed her. It was smoky, it was salty, and it reassured her that everything was well.

  “I’m fine.”

  Raven sensed the exhaustion in his voice. “The fire is out?”

  “Yeah, just a few people staying there watching in case it flares up again.”

  “Your mom mentioned something about that.” She nestled into him, enjoying his body wrapped around hers. “Much damage?”

  “Brumbie lost his house and two of his sheds. One was left standing. Some of his sheep, too.”

  “Fuck, that bad?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What started it?”

  “He took an old Massy Ferguson tractor out in the paddock, must’ve sparked or something, and it took off. At least that’s what it looks like. His neighbor on the other side of him lost a paddock of wheat to the fire, too.”

  “That’s terrible.”

  “I’m glad you and Mom are fine here. We were lucky.” He squeezed her tightly.

  “What will he do?”

  “He’s old stock. He’ll be fine. We’ll all look out for him.” His words slurred as Ben started to fall asleep.

  Raven kept quiet, letting him get the rest he needed. She felt herself relax. He was all right, and he was finally in bed with her. The waiting was finally over.<
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  Sunday, December 22nd

  Raven dreamed there was an annoying fly trapped in the room with her. No matter how much she looked, she couldn’t find it.

  “Okay, I’ll get down there now.”

  Ben’s voice broke the dream, and her eyes fluttered open. He was talking on his cell. She smiled, grateful he was with her. She reached out and ran her hand down his back as he sat up in bed.

  “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

  Raven felt a tightness in her chest. His tone was serious. Something was wrong. A selfish side of her wanted to grab him and not let him go. She didn’t want him to leave her. It would be nice to have a long sleep-in for a change.

  If only that were possible. Another sacrifice for living on a farm.

  Ben ended the call, turned, and took her hand in his. “The fire’s flared up.”

  “What?”

  “It can happen.” His forehead was a wrinkled mess with worry.

  She moved to hug him, sitting on her knees. “This isn’t good.”

  “No.” He broke the embrace. “I have to get moving. There’s no time to waste.”

  “Can I help?” She watched him get dressed in his usual attire on the farm—jeans and a shirt. His eyes were bloodshot, she assumed from the smoke.

  “By staying here.”

  “I hate waiting.”

  “There will be more for you to do today. Just stay with Mom. If you have to, I want you two to go into Keith.”

  “You mean evacuate?”

  “If it comes to that.”

  His serious expression made her skin prickle. She rubbed her arms as if she were cold.

  “I mean it, Raven, I want you two to be safe. The farm, the house, those things can all be replaced. You can’t be.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. This can’t be happening.

  “Raven,” he said her name softly, stepped back to the bed toward her. He embraced her, and she held on to him tightly. “I’m sure it won’t come to that, but I just want you to be prepared.”

  She didn’t want to think of having to leave because of a fire. That would ruin him and the farm, and she didn’t think it would be easy to rebuild from that.